Up until this point in time, the majority of my posts have been about “monsters” of the furry variety. Animals with sharp fangs and claws that tend to give small children nightmares and keep adults awake at night have been the main topics of my studies.
With Halloween right around the corner, I thought now would be a great time to analyze one of the most truly misunderstood groups of alleged monsters I have ever had the privilege of investigating, witches.
For the purpose of this article, I am presenting you with a summary of an interview with, believe it or not, a real witch. I have chosen not to reveal the witch’s name in order to protect her identity.
I would also like to state that this interview may present alternate religious viewpoints, and I would like to request that readers refrain from sending me derogatory or inflammatory comments after reading this article. I don’t enjoy participating in religious debates, nor do I wish to try to convert anybody to any religious affiliation by printing this article. I am merely trying to debunk the various myths and misinformation which have been associated with witches for centuries. With that being said, on to the interview now.
Question #1: How long have you been a witch?
Answer: I have been a sole practitioner of the craft of the wise for over 20 years now. I was raised Southern Baptist by my parents, and never felt I quite fit in with that religion. In my early 20’s, I worked with a lady who was Wiccan. I asked her several questions about the Wiccan religion, and she very politely answered them. I was just as misinformed as the majority of the population is about this religion before I met her. From there, I purchased several books about Wicca and just decided it was the right choice for me.
Question #2: What is the Wiccan religion?
Answer: Wicca is a positive, nature based religion that is very similar to Native American spirituality. Some religions are monotheistic, which means they worship only one God. Wicca is polytheistic, which means several members of this faith worship more than one God and/or Goddess. Most major religions all believe in the same basic, general tenet, which is to treat others as you would like to be treated. The Wiccan rede is actually: “An ye harm none, do as ye will”. This basically means do whatever you feel like doing, so long as you don’t harm anyone in the process. And, I would also like to let it be known that many Wiccans are environmentalists, conservationists, and quite a lot of us are vegan.
Question #3: Do you worship Satan?
Answer: The vast majority of Wiccans do not believe in the devil. We view him as sort of a creation of puritanical Christians…a boogeyman they manufactured to help enforce their ideas of morality. It would be rather counterproductive to worship someone, who in my opinion, does not exist.
Question #4: Do you put curses on people?
Answer: No. I firmly believe in the law of karma. If I wish for bad things to happen to people, three times that amount of bad energy would come back to me. For instance, if I wished for someone to get a wart, chances are I would get three warts. I simply avoid people who do not like me. Life is too short to spend time hanging around with negative people.
Question #5: Do you perform human and/or animal sacrifices?
Answer: Definitely NOT!!! Wiccans feel that all life is sacred, plant, animal, and human. This has been one of the biggest lies ever told about our religion. It is sad that even in today’s society, there are still people who believe such utter nonsense. There are no documented cases of any witch, anywhere, from the beginning of time to the present day, ever making a human or an animal sacrifice.
Question #6: Do you use body parts of animals and/or humans to make potions with?
Answer: No. Many Wiccans believe in the healing properties of nature. Many of them are experts on herbs. Over the course of history, herbalism was thought of as a form of sorcery or black magic. If a person were caught making any sort of potion, they could have been tried as a witch and hung.
So, many moons ago, herbalists started recording the ingredients they used in their various “potions” in coded language. For instance, “eye of newt” is actually either a daylily or mustard seed, and “adder’s tongue” is actually a plant known as dogstooth violet. Trust me, no actual human or animal body parts are used in the process of making any potions. So, no need for newts to fear us, what-so-ever. We definitely don’t follow the little critters around, hoping to gauge one of their eyes out. Even the thought of it is simply barbaric.
Question #7: Do you fly around on brooms?
Answer: Only those of us that work at NASA and are lucky enough to have a broom with a jet pack attached to it. I am not certain where that notion came from, although I suspect it may have something to do with the fact that many Wiccans do meditate. While in deep meditation, it may be possible to achieve a sense of “flying”. We also sometimes use brooms in certain ceremonies to symbolize sweeping out negative energy. Brooms are also used in Wiccan handfasting (wedding) ceremonies.
Question #8: Do all witches wear black dresses, black robes, and pointy black hats?
Answer: Only on Tuesdays. LOL. The stereotypical image of witches is based on the clothes that were worn by puritanical Christians and early colonists. I guess people liked the image so much that it just stuck throughout the years. And, I should also mention that our faces are typically only green if we have eaten something which disagrees with us.
Question #9: Are male witches called Warlocks?
Answer: Only if you severely dislike them. The vast majority of male witches shun the term warlock because the literal translation of that word is “oath breaker”. Most often than not, if a man proclaims to be a Warlock, he has not actually studied our religion at all.
Question #10: Could you cast a spell to make me a millionaire?
Answer: If I had a nickel for every person who has asked me that, I would be a millionaire. There are various spells for various situations. Most spells do not come to fruition instantly. It takes a lot of preparation and a lot of time to cast a spell correctly.
And, much the same as the Christian concept of prayer, sometimes spells just aren’t answered, or at least not in the way we were expecting them to be answered. Whether or not you ever become a millionaire is up to the higher power that you worship, along with the steps and measures that you take to achieve that goal.
I could, however, advise you to make a budget and suggest ways for you to save money. I like helping people. I am quite human, and not in the least little bit the monster many people think me to be.
So, there you have it, folks. What you just read was a real interview with a real witch. Not much of a monster, at all, is she? Thanks for reading. Blessed Samhain…err, umm, I mean Happy Halloween.